Pointers for guiding your teens through school

In collaboration with

How to make your teens aware of the importance of culture
How to deal with teens who drop out
How to deal with teens who refuse to study
How to deal with teens who want to take an after-school job
How to rekindle hope in teens facing failure
How to deal with depression
How to deal with teens who want to drop out
How to avoid having your teens skip classes
How to encourage your teens to take notes in class
How to foster attentiveness during class
How to motivate your teens to pay attention in class
How to enhance memorization
How to help your teens acquire a math study method
How to encourage your teens to study on a daily basis
How to help your teens adopt a study schedule
How to deal with teens who don't study
How to get your teens to study
How to avoid having your teens skip classes

• Travel with your children, take them to visit museums, have reference works at home (dictionary, encyclopedias). Initiate them to culture.
• Select cultural TV programs and watch them together as a family. Parents who read and who watch cultural programs set an example.

Things to avoid

• Avoid underrating the cultural aspects of education in favour of the moneymaking aspects. Your children can have both.
• Avoid promoting subjects that are prerequisites for further training to the detriment of more general subjects like history, geography and literature (e.g. do not focus exclusively on math and science).

• Recognize dropping out of school as a possible positive step in the growing-up process.
• Demand that your teens follow the family schedule, going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting up in the morning to look for work.
• Help them find a job. Facing the real requirements of the job market can be a motivation to go back to school.
• Suggest they seek help through teen dropout support services (consult the school for resources in your area).
• Allow them to return to school if they want to after experiencing the work world.

Things to avoid

• Do not tolerate idleness or sleeping during the day and leading a night life.
• Avoid kicking your teens out of the house because they refuse to go to school.

• Continue looking for ways to motivate them to study.
• Determine whether your teens have a dream for the future. If not, help them find one. Consult a school resource as needed.
• Continue to provide guidance; remind them of their duties, despite their resistance. Though they may deny it, children always need their parents. Open revolt is often their way of letting you know they are tired, worried, confused, etc.
• If your teens categorically refuse to study, remind them of the possible consequences: failing a grade, dropping out, entering the job market unprepared.

Things to avoid

• Avoid giving up too easily. Deep down, children appreciate their parents' perseverance, even while they are contesting it.
• Avoid presenting only authoritarian arguments (punishment, etc.) to get your teens to study.
• If you are facing unshakable resistance, avoid compromising the entire family's well-being.

• Discuss the disadvantages of after-school jobs.
• Help your teens discern their priority, because it is their decision.
• Suggest they negotiate a schedule with the employer that allows for more study time.
• If it will really encourage studying, raise their allowance.

Things to avoid

• Avoid forcing your teens to take an after-school job unless it is absolutely necessary. Schoolwork always suffers.
• Avoid forcing your teens to quit an after-school job. Such confrontational situations are not likely to improve school performance.

• Discuss the possible reasons for the failure:
  • Lack of sustained effort?
  • Ineffective study method?
  • Assignments not handed in?
  • Missed exam resulting in a 0?
  • Lack of information due of missing class?
• Encourage the teen to regain self-confidence in every possible way.
• Praise for even the slightest success often helps teens to recognize their abilities; praise all achievements, including manual work as well as academic success.

Things to avoid

• Avoid attributing failure to a lack of ability.
• Avoid humiliating your teens because of poor academic performance.

• Be alert to symptoms of depression in your teens. If two or three symptoms are apparent at the same time, consult a specialist promptly.
• If the problem is passing depression connected to poor performance at school, show your teens ways to correct the situation.
• Encourage them to discuss the problem with school resources.

Things to avoid

• Avoid taking it lightly when a teen asks for help. Mood swings can be a message.
• When your teens agree to talk about their problems, avoid easy reassurances such as "It's not serious" or "This will blow over."

• First of all, ask what the reasons are.
  If it's a reaction to failure, encourage your child to try again and suggest ways to go about it.
• Help your teen recognize his or her strengths.
  If the reason is a desire to earn money right away, discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this choice.
• Consult a school resource and ask for help.
  If, after consultation, dropout appears inevitable, explore the short-, medium- and long-term options with the teen and the counsellor, including an eventual return to school.

Things to avoid

• Avoid accepting your teen's dropout without first trying to find a solution.
• Avoid making emotional decisions.

• Ask about school activities on a regular basis.
• If you have doubts about your teens' attendance, call the school.
• Go to parent-teacher meetings.
• Learn to read report cards: they indicate absences.
• Find ways to motivate your teens not to skip classes.

Things to avoid

• Avoid signing unjustified excuse notes thinking that you are protecting your teens; this just encourages them to skip school.
• Avoid shifting your responsibilities to the school.
• Avoid looking the other way when your teens skip school, as if it weren't important, since one absence leads to another.
• Avoid letting obligation be your teens' only reason for going to school.

• Make sure they have all the necessary schools supplies: notebooks, pencils, ruler, etc.
• Remind them how to take notes.
• From time to time, ask to see their class notes.
• Reward them for their efforts.

Things to avoid

• Avoid letting your teen tell you there is no need to take notes.
• Avoid a lack of interest in class work.
• Do not allow your teens to do class work at home as that encourages laxity and a lack of discipline in class.

• Encourage your teens to exercise: it relieves stress, relaxes and enhances concentration.
• Make sure they get enough sleep to stay alert in class.
• Urge them to have breakfast before leaving for school, since hunger dulls the brain.
• Make the child aware of the importance of toilet training.

Things to avoid

• Do not encourage snacking between meals, since it spoils the appetite.
• Do not allow your teens to replace family meals with snacking.
• Do not allow your teens to go to bed late on school nights.

• Occasionally ask what is being taught in class and encourage your teens to take notes.
• Do not tolerate bad classroom behaviour: it is detrimental not only to the perpetrator but also to the other students.
• Pay attention to teachers' comments on report cards.

Things to avoid

• Avoid school absences as much as possible, since missing information leads to a lack of interest, which in turn leads to poor attention.
• Avoid believing that the teacher taught nothing new.

• Encourage your teens to write summaries, which are easier to memorize than an entire chapter.
• Urge them to read and reread their summaries to develop long-term memorization.
• Make sure they study in surroundings that encourage memorization.

Things to avoid

• Avoid letting your teens study in noisy surroundings or with constant interruptions by younger children.
• Do not allow them to listen to music or watch TV while studying.

• Help them understand that math includes concepts, definitions, formulas and other elements that require memorization and study, just like other subjects.
• Encourage them to write down things that have to be memorized in a special notebook and to reread them frequently.
• Insist that they do their math homework, even if they have trouble, since homework teaches them to recognize and correct their mistakes.

Things to avoid

• Never excuse a failing grade in math on the pretext that it can't be helped, that your child has no aptitude for math.
• Avoid perpetuating the "mathematically inclined" myth, since it makes children believe you need a special gift to get good grades in math.

• Remind them that this is an efficient way to avoid failing and to get better marks in general.
• Watch for achievements (however small) due to daily study and praise them.
• Determine what would please your child and offer it as a reward for persevering at school.

Things to avoid

• Do not let your teens tell you there is nothing to study just because no test is scheduled.
• Avoid indifference to effort and thinking your teens are old enough care for themselves.
• Avoid grumbling when you don't see improvement as fast as you would like.

• First, help them prepare a study schedule.
• Respect their schedule.
• To help maintain good concentration, encourage them to take a break after 45 minutes if they intend to study longer than 75 minutes. Suggest they do a few exercises to relax and refresh their minds.

Things to avoid

• Avoid forcing your teens to study more than an hour if they are tired and unable to concentrate.

• First of all, find out what is causing the problem.
• Then offer support in the form of a study method and a way to manage home study time.
• Contact the school to find out who can provide appropriate help and suggest your child consult that person.

Things to avoid

• Avoid hastily interpreting confusion and lack of organization as teen laziness.
• Avoid reprimands and punishment when what your teen really needs is help.
• Avoid imposing a study schedule that does not take other activities into account.
• Avoid the notion that after-school time should be devoted exclusively to studying and homework, disregarding the teen's need for social activities and sports.

• Encourage your teens to study by asking if they have homework or lessons to learn.
• Supervise them, i.e. ensure that their studies and homework are properly done.
• Negotiate your teens' consent to devote a specific number of hours to studying and homework in exchange for permissions, privileges or other rewards. The agreement should be written down and formally signed by parents and teens.
• Keep in mind that this negotiation often results in improved grades that merit recognition.
• Remember that it is more important to recognize efforts than grades, because a grade is not necessarily proportionate to the effort made.

Things to avoid

• If a teen fails to respect the agreement, avoid withdrawing unrelated privileges.
• Avoid cancelling privileges granted under the agreement as punishment for something else.
• Avoid excessive (and unenforceable) punishments. For example, don't threaten a 16-year-old with not being able to see his girlfriend.

• Take time to discuss careers as a family, around the dinner table, for instance, when everyone is home and in no rush to leave.
• Raise the subject through news of a relative or family friend who has just graduated, or gotten a first job or an appointment. Or discuss topics in the news such as job creation in a certain field, or a factory closing.
• Ask your teens if they know which trade or profession they would like to practice after graduating. If so, this will allow you to be on the lookout for information about the field in question. If not, take the opportunity to discuss different sources of information: career choice teachers, guidance counsellors and the school's academic and vocational information centre.

Things to avoid

Avoid orienting your teens' career choices based on criteria that are incompatible with their tastes or aptitudes. For example, avoid putting down this or that trade because it is not well paid, or advocating the trade or profession that you would have liked to practice.