Young people in society column

Provided by the Professional Order of Social Workers of Québec (Ordre professionnel des travailleurs sociaux du Québec), these articles are intended to help you deal with everyday life. They could also help you help a friend!

Come back to read it!

Life is worth living!

Nathalie Grondin, social worker

Did you know that heartbreak is among the leading causes of teenage suicide¹? You've probably guessed that this month's column is going to be about teenage suicide prevention. "What a subject!" you're probably thinking. Nevertheless, I suggest you read the column all the way through since you just might learn something that can be helpful to you or a friend.

• Emily's story

  Emily's boyfriend has just announced that he's leaving her. Emily can't understand why. After all, they've been together almost a year. What she does know, however, is that her heart is broken into a thousand pieces and that she's never been in so much pain. Emily tries everything she can think of to feel better. But even after several weeks, her heartbreak is still so great that she begins to think that only death can put an end to it and she starts looking for the best way to make it happen.

• What can you do to help a friend?

  First of all, I strongly suggest you try to speak openly about it to your friend (i.e., "Are you contemplating suicide?") and very importantly, do not judge your friend. Since you are probably one of the people closest to him or her, you're likely to be one of the first ones to see the signs. There are many of them, but they all can usually be defined as a significant change. For example:

  • Your friend, who never used to get mad or cry, all of a sudden becomes aggressive and cries all the time;
  • Your friend, who wasn't doing that well, all of a sudden finds a solution to all his or her problems;
  • Your friend gives you something you know is very valuable to him or her.

  Suicide is a complex phenomenon. That's why you should never play "psychologist" with your friend. Staying his or her friend and referring him or her to a professional is the best way to help. It's also very important not to keep secret your friend's suicidal thoughts, even if he or she asks you not to speak to anyone about them. It's of primary importance that you refer him or her to a professional to break the secret. Don't worry, even if your friend is mad at you for a little while, what will most likely happens is that he or she will be grateful to you for saving his or her life! Try to imagine for a moment how you would feel if your friend committed suicide and you were the only person who knew his or her secret.

• What can you do if you have suicidal thoughts?

  First of all, TALK ABOUT IT. Talk about it with people you trust (a parent, friend, teacher, school staff member, etc.) Try to make sure that one of the people you talk to is an adult and a health care or social services professional, such as a social worker. Despite what many people may think, parents are sometimes in the best position to help because of their life experience. If you're not satisfied with the help that's offered to you, try someone else and keep trying until you find just the right person to help you. Most of all, don't forget that there is absolutely no shame in having suicidal thoughts and consulting a professional; it can happen to anyone. In closing, I'd like to say one last thing: whatever your problem is, there is always a solution, even if you can't see it right at the moment.

• A few references

  If you need help, you can consult your nearest CLSC or the Centre de prévention du suicide (CPS) in your area (1-866-277-3553).

1. Direction de la Santé Publique, 2003