Young people in society column

Provided by the Professional Order of Social Workers of Québec (Ordre professionnel des travailleurs sociaux du Québec), these articles are intended to help you deal with everyday life. They could also help you help a friend!

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No more bullying!

September is already here and a new school year has just begun. For some of you, this might mean having to go back and face certain undesirable individuals. This is why today's column deals with violence and, more specifically, with bullying, a form of verbal and psychological violence.

First of all, you should be aware that being called names or getting insulted, ridiculed, humiliated or threatened is unacceptable! This is violence, and violence should not be tolerated even if you believe, wrongly, that you deserve it or that you're used to it.

Let me tell you about John. Just like Bob, Catherine and many others at school, he's one of the "rejects", the scapegoats, the ones who get picked on all the time. One day while John was in the class he hates the most, phys ed, he got humiliated in the worst possible way. John doesn't hate this class for nothing. The same gang constantly ridicules him, humiliates him and lightly threatens him. John is an easy target because the teacher can't see what all the sub-groups are up to while class is in session. So, that day, while John was hanging from the bars, someone pulled his pants down. There he was, naked, in front of the whole class. All the kids laughed except John, who didn't laugh. He felt humiliated, and for good reason: he was hurt because his integrity had just been violated. Fortunately, the situation resulted in a suspension and a complaint filed with the police. For John, the ordeal was finally over.

In John's and many other cases, violence is subtle, accumulates little by little, destroys self-esteem and induces a climate of terror and insecurity. People who are used to demeaning, ridiculing and humiliating others often do it out of a need for self-importance, to make themselves feel like they're somebody.

• If you are being bullied or see someone else being bullied, report the situation.
• Tell the person who's bullying you that he's hurting you.
  (For example, "When you call me names, it hurts.")
• Avoid using violence to defend yourself, even if it's tempting to do so.
• If you see someone being bullied, don't just stand there. Try to peacefully defend the person being bullied by telling the bully that you don't agree with what he's doing and explaining how the other one is probably feeling.
• If you are a victim of violence, seek out an adult who can listen and help you resolve the problem.
• Don't hesitate to get help from a professional too (i.e., a social worker.)

Whether you are being bullied or see someone else being bullied, there is a solution for you.

Note that the use of the masculine is generic and applies to both men and women.